I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Never underestimate the power of titties
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
