Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
