uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
