Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
