i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
