somebody snuck up and got me drunk
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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