Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As shirtless as possible
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
