handjob tips. give me some.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
