so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
If that was your dad, he is hot
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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