Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
