are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
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