i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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