Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
