Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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