just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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