don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
