I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
