Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
