I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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