Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
