never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
