found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
