At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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