Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.�
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
