Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
