I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
