It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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