Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
