You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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