there was a trapeze. enough said
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
