We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
