No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
