halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
