Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
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