I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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