Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
