It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
