She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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