I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
he laminated a picture of his dick.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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