Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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