so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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