i just wanna soil my oats bro
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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