You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
So gin and wine won't be happening again
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
