I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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