do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Randomize
