Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
