A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I think I just shit out all my problems.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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