singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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