I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Randomize
