Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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