By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
